This is an email I sent to one of my adoption chat groups. It was hard to capture in words the amazing events that led up to our referral. But hopefully this will give you a taste of Gods awesome power.
I would love to share with you a "God Moment", or many moments that led up to receiving our referral for Annabel. It reminds us that God is truly in control of which child is going to be a part of our family. It doesn't necessarily fall on the time line that we may all anticipate, but it is His perfect plan. We accepted a referral two weeks ago for a little girl with blcp and blcl. It is only because we followed Gods direction that we received that call. Our story is this:We have a log in date of April 29,2006. We knew going into this that we had a long wait because we opted to request a healthy infant girl from the beginning. We did however fill out the special needs form our adoption agency and put "maybe" on a few needs back in January 2006. Over the last few months we have felt nudged to change our paperwork. We just didnt know what we were suppose to do. I remember telling my Sunday school class back in December we knew we needed to change something but just couldn't wrap our heads around what we were suppose to do. So what did we do? Nothing. A confused mind does nothing I guess. We thought maybe we were just being impatient and decided to just leave it alone and wait on God. God was probably pounding the golden streets in Heaven trying to get our attention. God had a plan already in motion and NEEDED for us to change that paperwork. Over a course of two days (about 4 weeks ago) I felt soooooo led to change it. It seemed everywhere I went, each adoption story I read, everything.. .including my sons friend from school...was about special needs. Specifically cleft lip and palate. So after getting no sleep one night I told my husband we had to change our info when he got home that evening. We prayed about it and decided on which needs we were led to change from "maybe" to a "yes". We even opened up the age range and sex. Basically we told God...it's yours. It's in your hands, not ours. We want the child you have for us. I remember telling God that night no matter what the special need...if it is His will for us to have a special needs child that we would accept that child and will love that child unconditionally and not be afraid of what is to come. After I sent it off I felt so relieved. Two days later I got the email that our adoption agency had received a batch of children. I knew that I knew that I knew our child was in that batch. I had not felt like that in the past. I even went as far at totell some friends and my Pastor that I was expecting a referral. At one point I found my self telling my friend Stephanie that I wasn't going to get my hopes up too much just in case...and I stopped myself. I said to her "I am not going to speak those words". God wouldn't have had us change it on that particular day if it weren't because a batch was to be announced two days later. I didn't even know our adoption agency was expecting a batch. I don't know if anyone else did, but I didn't. Remember we were waiting for a healthy referral so I wasn't keeping up on everything since I still had such a long wait. At first when our adoption agency called me during the week of referrals I thought they were simply verifying my form. That's what she did at first. Then I explained how I was led by God to make the changes and it was then that she said she was glad I did because they had a very special little girl for me. I wasn't home at the time so I didn't see her pics right away but I knew she was theone God had intended for us. Even though I know we are in for surgeries and probably some rough times ahead, the peace that passes all understanding is so strong in my life right now. It's amazing how we still ended up with the sex and age range that we originally desired even after opening it up so much. My husbands friend Steve put it beautifully. He said because you gave up your desire and told God you wanted it to be His desire, that He still gave you the desires of your heart. Anyway, that is our story. There were lot's of amazing extras in there that I left out to save time but know this....God is in control of our referrals. He knew before any of us did that adoption was in our life plan. He also knows which child will become a part of our family. I pray that if any of you are struggling as we were with changing your special needs information. ..Just do it. Follow your heart and ask God to lead you in the right decision.
